remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
