my sisters under your porch take her home
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
