I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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