maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
