Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
