i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
