this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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