i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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