You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
