No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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