How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize