can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
