If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
