his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
