You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
