so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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