and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
