hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
