In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
