oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
