If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
