So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
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