hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
