You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
