He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
