Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize