Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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