is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
