you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
