hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
