It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
