Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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