I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
