I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
