The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
The Olympian is in my bed
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
