Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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