i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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