Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
