PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
