I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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