finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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