He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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