pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
