I think i peed on brittanys purse
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize