I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
