i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
