You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
how drunk are you?
Several
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize