oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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