uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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