I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
