you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
