we're blogging at a bar
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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