Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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