she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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