Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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