So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
