That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
