Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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