Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
