Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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