You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize