Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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