Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
operation have a gay friend backfired
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Randomize
