remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
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