Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
