I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
