I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
