He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
