walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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