I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
