talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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