Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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