THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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